Friday, June 5, 2015

Hell hath no fury...

I like the squirrel. Goodlooking fur, fluffy tail and the stricken little clasped paw. And the squirrel annoys me, of course. Hogs the birdseed and digs in the planters.

"The" squirrel - I don't actually know how many there are. A few weeks ago one squirrel - which was certifiable, it must be admitted, it showed no fear at all - was either 1. Drowned in the East River or 2. Released in a Bronx Park, depending on which version of the story you believe.

Our landlord trapped him, after s/he (the squirrel) apparently: 1. Chewed a hole in the roof  2. Chewed a hole through a metal plate inserted to deter it from chewing holes in the roof 3. Was ousted from the ceiling where it had taken up residence by an exterminator who sprayed something "non toxic" into the hole 3. Was thumped on the head late at night after it descended to street level by a passing drunk guy, in front of a small audience  4. Escaped again to the roof, despite what must have been a significant concussion.

Where s/he was caught the next day in a humane trap.

Maybe s/he fired the shot that reverberated on the street at 1.20am last night.  I mean s/he was angry enough, surely? Payback.

It was a robbery, close to home. No one was hurt, and the police arrived very, very fast and stayed till 4am.

So if you see a squirrel in a grey hoodie, s/he could be the one. S/he remains at large. Free. Drowned and risen.

Bent on revenge.


                         Book a Wild Foods Walk

                      (no squirrels will be harmed)


  1. pepper spray deters their chewing habits, in Florida where we used to live we had to keep our car engines sprayed especially in winter to keep them from chewing the wiring

  2. Brilliantly told! We have red squirrels here in the west of Scotland. Cuter, more timid, and fairly harmless.

  3. Leslie in OregonJune 5, 2015 at 3:14 PM

    The squirrels in our wooded garden/jungle stand up on the slope just outside our large living room windows and wiggle their ears at Bob, our long-haired dachshund, who, hearing the sound they are making, awakes from a sound sleep in the living room and goes crazy at the sight. This has been going on for the nearly nine years we've had Bob. Fortunately, the Audubon Society HQ nearby has provided us with birdfeeders that (so far) are squirrel-proof.

  4. And it looks like a nursing female in your picture - more squirrels to come!

  5. Whoa--now that's a story!


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