The state of things

Tell the trees to sneeze into their trunks. They have been frightening the flowers. Their leaves are dripping on the spring shoots. The buds are sniffling.

Lecture the breeze for blowing, there are droplets in the branches. Tell the birds to fold their wings, their flight is causing panic.

The bees should work at home.

Love bugs are gathering in unsafe numbers, heedless of warnings.

The squirrels keep touching their faces.

Ask the forysthia not to bloom, it is Asian and in the wrong place. The callery pears have weak crotches and are susceptible. Red maple buds are flouting recommendations. The daffodils are incontinent and the crocuses keep congregating.

Sanitize the chickweed, it is hugging the grass. The dandelions look damp. The germination of seedlings is inadvisable.

Mask the winter honeysuckle; it can be smelled from unsafe distances. 

Find the earthworms, they have not reported and may have gone underground. The robins have been asking.

Secure the compost heap - steam has been seen.

There is a general, and alarming greening. A statement will be issued.

The moon is still traveling, despite warnings. Find her and tether her. (She may require meals at home.)

Moths will be fine.

Magnolias will open, regardless.

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Seriously, Come and Walk